I first heard about The Unmagical Life of Briar Jones via my favorite author’s (Alix E. Harrow) social media, and usually, when she recommends something, I tend to love it. So I had no doubts about this book either — it was to be my next favorite.
And the premise was promising. We meet Briar, who never got to go to a magical school, and lost their best friend to it, as they finally go through those gates (as a janitor, though). What happens when they meet their best friend again after so many years and he’s not the same sweet boy he used to be? And the school is not what they dreamed it would be?
But alas, I have thoughts, and that’s never a good thing.
The short of it is: I loved the prose and the world building — both get top marks from me because I was immersed into the book and felt as if I was watching a movie. Problem is, I didn’t realize this was a YA book, and how much of a YA book it would be. The characters are all very drama, all very insufferable; none more than our protagonist Briar, who despite her upbringing and cynical nature, approaches every single bit of magic with this wide-eyed innocence that grates. If you’re prepared for the fact that this is YA and you would love a campus/dark academia novel with a spot of mystery, this is for you.
- My rating: 3⭐
- Heat level: Low, there’s violent kissing and longing, but no more than that (at least explicitly shown).
- Standalone or series? Standalone.
- Content warnings: Child abuse (hazing) shown on-page in detail multiple times, bigotry/homophobia, physical violence of all kinds, drinking and drug everywhere, power imbalance, magical sort of roofie (a character uses powers of magnetism to draw people in and convince them to sleep with them). Anyway, lots and lots of content warnings. The plot revolves around the main characters trying to stop the hazing, and they see a lot of it, plus the main character, not being magical, gets put under “spells” a lot.
- Page count: 464 pages (on my kindle)
- Read if: You loved The Secret History or any dark academia before but want it more queer and more magical.
Thoughts and Feelings
So, as I already said, the premise was great and I went into this book with my hopes high. And the first few chapters delivered. I even said in my newsletter that this was going to be my next favorite.
You meet Briar, a non-binary person living with their mother and stepfather on a small farm in a very rural area of England, but very close to the Temple School. For their entire childhood they dreamed of going there (you could say it was an obsession), along with their best friend Sebastian.
Now, Sebastian and Briar were inseparable as children. Sebastian himself is a lordling of some sort, his family rich and noble but neglectful and distant. He lived alone with his mother in this huge manor, and Briar and he spent their younger years enjoying that freedom.
However, when the time came for them to go to school, only Sebastian got into Temple. Briar went into a deep depression over this and hasn’t spoken to Seb since. But now, freshly eighteen and on the hunt for a job for the summer, they get into Temple as a janitor, hired to clear out some attic spaces.
Obviously, they’re thrilled, and the school does seem exactly like what they pictured — until, that is, they see its ugly underbelly. The bullies, the hazing, the creepy rituals and uses of magical power.
I found the beginning strong and interesting. The author seems set on turning the magical school trope on its head, asking all the questions about it that need to be asked. Asking questions about the magic itself that need to be asked.
I also liked all the secondary characters. They’re rich, they’re depressed and neglected by their parents, they drink a ton and have no care for the consequences of their actions, mostly because there are none. But they’re outrageous and fun to read — and I always wonder if this is how actual rich/noble people are or is the media constantly representing them this way but they’re really not.
Either way, I was having fun. Now, here’s where things started going south for me.
For one, the relationship between Sebastian and Briar is so overplayed. I mean the author/Briar will go on these long internal monologues describing their childhood together and it’s just too much. I mean, it’s beautifully described and visually striking, but I was just so tired of it after the first few chapters. Like okay, we get it! They were close!
I don’t know, maybe I just didn’t have any close friends at that age, but I can’t say I feel this was a realistic relationship between two ten-year-olds, no matter how isolated (which they weren’t, really).
And then also, what eighteen year old still feels the hurt of their friend leaving ten years ago so deeply? The school rejection, I can sort of understand, but not that part. Briar made other friends (who genuinely seem awesome) later, they had romantic experiences, everything — but it all seems sullied by this one boy not being there, I guess?
I don’t know. This is my personal bias perhaps, or my own experience being that my most intense friendships and relationships were made when I was an older teen (fifteen or older) rather than being a child.
But fine, whatever, I could have overlooked that. Many books overplay the strength of these childhood friendships, or I just process emotions differently, so that can go under the “I don’t relate to that” label.
However, there’s more. Let me set the scene — Briar Jones is a non-binary person in a small town, a rural area. They have been bullied their whole life, the systems in place are not favorable to them, and they know how awful the politicians and people in power really are. They know how easily any small amount of power is abused. They have a cynical outlook on life.
When they get rejected from Temple School, they’re devastated and don’t understand why not them. Which, they’re a child then, so fine, again, whatever. But at eighteen, after all the research, after everything they know about these private schools, surely they must understand why exactly they didn’t get it. Because it’s pretty obvious — only the rich get in, and even then only the ones whose family has a long, noble history. So yeah, it’s unfair, but Briar keeps wondering why they weren’t chosen when Seb was and it’s just like… duh, the reason is obvious.
And then whenever bad things happen in this very exclusive school for rich jerks, Briar is like *pikachu shocked face* even though, again, they were bullied and lived in a system that is built against them. How do you think things are going to go when people actually have magic that lets them do anything? Bullies aren’t going to disappear just because the school is magical — they’re going to get worse, that much is obvious. The hazing that historically exists in these schools is going to be worse. The teachers are always going to look away and even condone all of this because that’s how these places work. Come on, Briar!
And sure, their ignorance and innocence might have been played up for the reader, assuming the reader would also be surprised and shocked. But none of this is really shocking. Yes, it’s bad and terrible, and needs to not exist, but am I shocked that the exclusive school of magic just for the richest of the rich is actually the bad guy? No, I am not.
But let’s assume the ideal reader for this book is younger and perhaps less knowledgeable about these private, exclusive schools. Even then, it doesn’t work! Because Briar is repeatedly told by the people who actually go there that the school is awful, the magic is used mostly for terrible acts, that no one cares if someone dies during the hazing, that the hazing is supported by the teachers and the board, that people in power use this magic to further manipulate people — all of that is told to them repeatedly by insiders in this world, and they keep being shocked! Why? How are you shocked?
And this innocence in the face of repeated crimes against humanity that they witness comes off as so stupid! And they still wish they went to this school!
So while Briar started off as a great, capable, sensible protagonist, they quickly prove themselves just as idiotic as most YA protagonists.
For example, they go to an exclusive party held by the main bullies (???), and when they go into the kitchen, suddenly they become obsessed with this one guy who is not their type at all, but it doesn’t matter, and he’s suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. They don’t want to leave them, ever. Luckily, their new friends manage to wring them away, and explain to Briar that you don’t actually feel when a spell comes over you, it just becomes a natural part of your thoughts, you can’t recognize spells or shake them off if you don’t have magic. The friend tells Briar to stay put while they go find their other friend, to not move under any circumstances and not interact with anyone at all. Guess what Briar does? Come on, guess!
Of course, Briar goes to search for a towel for some reason (???!!!) across several different rooms and stumbles into the room of the biggest bully ever — and then enters, like an idiot, because “they won’t be intimidated by bullies” (!!!!) and then guess what happens? They get trapped under a spell, and abused by this super powerful dude.
Any reasonable person, after realizing how this magic works, would stay away from any student ever, but not our protagonist Briar — no, they believe their fists are stronger, and even after this, repeatedly go into situations they really shouldn’t. They wander around the school completely unconcerned that these incredibly powerful jerks can and will use these invisible spells against them.
So yeah, Briar turns out to be very stupid.
But then this book also commits the ultimate sin of being boring. Like yeah, things happen and some of those things are interesting. But almost every chapter begins with Briar waking up, making coffee, going to breakfast (or not, depending on their mood), working in the attic, getting into trouble with their new friends, and then they fall asleep and the chapter either ends with either “and they dream of nothing at all” or some of their dreams are described.
The other chapters, usually the ones that involve Seb, start with a long story about their friendship from ten years ago, and then we skip into another boring day, and then there’s an interaction with Seb, and then we again go through the arduous, boring details of Briar’s day.
And I’m not inherently against this sort of setup. It slows everything down, makes you linger in the world. But it also becomes incredibly boring after a few chapters. Change things up, show us just the trouble they get into, something! I don’t need to know every time Briar has some coffee or breakfast or has a shower, unless something interesting happens in there!
I found myself putting the book down, or looking away from it often. Usually, when I’m reading, my attention is firmly on the book, but this time I found YouTube quiz shows my husband was watching more entertaining than this.
Then there’s the relationship between Seb and Briar. I feel like the author expected us to root for them based on their childhood relationship alone. But the thing is, people change over time. Especially between the ages of ten and eighteen. Clearly both of them are different, and you can’t convince me they match each other in the same way that they used to.
They don’t develop their relationship much in the present. There’s tons of angst, but mostly they’re rehashing what happened in the past and not spending much time getting to know each other now.
I always have issues with this, when authors use this device of “we’ve known each other as kids, so we definitely know each other now”, especially in romance, because it’s just not realistic, and it’s a lazy way to make people root for the couple even when, in most cases, it just doesn’t work. I was not the same person at ten and at eighteen. I guarantee most people aren’t.
But Briar is constantly *pikachu shocked face* that this dude has changed in this brutal school where he was bullied and abused and almost never let out? What did you expect, that this boy will keep reading romance novels and tending to injured animals? In this boy’s club environment? Like come on.
And, also, the most annoying part of their relationship to me was that Briar was angry at Seb because he went to school anyway, without them. Like, what? Did this ten year old boy ever actually have a choice? Even after Briar is told that the school just takes students in immediately after sending the acceptance letter, and doesn’t let them out at all until after the first Christmas (I think? Like these kids don’t have free summers or anything, they’re let out of school only a few times a year, and even then only for like less than a week), Briar still blames Seb for going to this school without them and not trying harder to reach them?
I guess that reaction is somewhat okay at ten, but at eighteen? And after knowing that he was kept there and likely bullied the whole time, you’re still jealous and bitter about it? Frankly, I’m more shocked at this than anything else that happens in this book.
So I guess most of my issues with this book are down to Briar being stupid and too innocent in a way that just doesn’t work with their characterization. Or, to be more accurate, most of my issues with this book are down to the author using Briar as a puppet to wax poetic on these topics and create emotion in the reader without actually letting the character be who they are and things to unfold naturally.
But I’ll also give kudos to this book for stunning writing! And the wonderful premise! The atmosphere the author has woven is amazing, and if you love campus novels, you’ll love this one. Just based on that, I think I will read whatever this author publishes next.
Expect secret rooms, secret societies, bad things happening all over the place, aggressive romance, drugs and drinking, ennui, etc. Imagine The Secret History but with magic, and a mystery that doesn’t revolve around a murder the main characters committed. Briar also reminds me a little of Richard Papen with this stubbornness in their desire to get into this school and its elite groups one way or another.
So yeah, the vibes are there, for sure. The story itself was a little lacklustre for me, but maybe it wasn’t meant for me, either? I’m sure that, if I had read it at eighteen, I would have loved it. It’s very much a teenage drama, which I didn’t know coming into it — I didn’t want to spoil myself too much with the synopsis, so I assumed that Seb was a professor at this school and that they were both at least in their mid-twenties.
But if you come into it clear-eyed, and you’re okay with the aforementioned dramatics, I’m sure you’ll love this book. It does ask some valid questions and explores some great themes, so I feel like it just needed to be shaped better.
If you read this book, leave your thoughts in the comments below!
